Complete and unedited text of a recent email...SUBJECT: ok I'm new at thisI love my wife but she refuses to dominate me in any way, shape or form. My secret desire to to have a woman with a strap-on to, well, fu(k me in the ass. I would wear panties while this happened. any help?Yes, clearly you are a beginner, dear man, or you would not have written such a letter to me. You want to be dominated? Good. Prepare to get spanked.This letter is ...

I am not going to write about how much I hate snow.***If you know me ? or you've been reading me for very long ? you know that I am often a bit standoffish when I am unexpectedly approached by strangers in public. Call it good boundaries, or a suspicious nature, but I tend to mind my own business and let other people mind theirs. However, occasionally it's a good thing when strangers talk to me. It's happened twice lately. Once was a very s...

EVENT REMINDER: Max is teaching a bondage workshop this Sunday afternoon. Here's the 411 on that...The Tender Bits - Male and Female Genital BondageThe class is Sunday January 4th, 2:30 PM to 5:30 PM, at the Center for Sex Positive Culture (CSPC) in Seattle.This workshop covers some particularly intimate, effective and sexy bondage techniques. Max will start with the basics of immobilizing and tormenting boy-bits. There'll be a nice demo, informa...

Wow, it's 2009 - first post for the new year. Max and I and number of our closest friends saw the old year out at our house. We missed a few pals who had to be elsewhere (hi, Candy and MC!), but otherwise, it was a lovely, champagne-y evening with bondage, naked people, needles, and people getting pantsed. Of course, we had a lot of really gorgeously-gowned women and sharply-attired men, in addition to the naked people. I myself find the contras...

So you know how I'm always saying I'm busy? Yeah. I am super busy today, gearing up for a party tonight. Max and I had a long list of "things we need to do before the party" and being snowed in really put us behind schedule there. So now we're trying to do it all reallyreallyreally fast. Because 2008 is almost a memory, just a few more hours left!Luckily, as I noted in my Twitter, we have had lovely people helping us, so I'm good shape. I have a ...

Happy day - it's a new podcast! (Finally, right? I know.)First, Monk does a crazy 30-second riff on what a porn movie would sound like - on radio. (You'll just have to listen to it.) And then we address a letter from a reader who asks "Since monogamy is not an option, how do you make your primary partner feel special in a polyamorous relationship?" Monk and I have some thoughts about that, so listen and enjoy! About sixteen minutes.

Monk and I were sitting in the hot tub at Banya5 last night, talking about someone we know who lately started a business selling BDSM gear. It isn't someone either of us know very well, so we can't say if they will succeed in this or not. We certainly wish them good luck. But privately, we tend to be a tad skeptical. It's simply that, over the years, we've both seen a lot of people start kink-related businesses? And then, in a fairly short am...

Happy snow-melting day! It is going to melt off a LOT today, I just know it. (Think positive here, people!) I'm a heck of a lot more excited about that idea than I was about Christmas itself, I can tell you.And today I'm going to participate in another ancient tradition: I'm going shopping. Not clothes, though - I need house-y stuff, dishes and glasses. What do you think of these? I may buy two sets, though, just so we have enough to do dinners f...

Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it!I am planning on staying pretty close to home today, but I think I'll have a lovely, mellow day with people I love, and that's something worth doing any day of the year.I hope you have a happy day, too, wherever you are...

I may be annoyed by the weather, but Max does find ways to make the best of it. Here, Puck talks about him sending her out into the snow, naked, to grab the newspaper. (Well, okay, she's wearing boots.) Who says you can't weave D/s relationships into everyday life?

Sigh. I have been frustrated, since last Thursday, by being unable to achieve anything of any satisfaction or import whatsoever that involved leaving the house. And yet, even though I have been doing nothing except dealing with the most banal necessities of life, I have had no time to do anything such as, for example, write more. It's amazing how much time and energy it takes to be stir-crazy.However, yesterday saw some definite improvements in t...

Okay, the word "shibari" has now officially jumped the shark. Not that this isn't a very cute dress, because it is. I'd wear it. But when Saks Fifth Avenue is selling something called "Shibari Shift Dress", it's no longer an in-group sort of word.A mere $1495. But I'm sure there will be knock-offs soon. I think it's highly amusing!

I was snowed in all day yesterday, which was slightly annoying, since I had a date I wanted to keep. But there was no way I was driving anywhere. True, I do have a four-wheel drive Audi, but four-wheel drive doesn't really help if all four wheels are on ice, a fact seemingly lost on many Seattle drivers I have seen spinning like roulette wheels on the slick hills.However, I made the best of a quiet day at home. And I am proud to say that thus far...